Cobrinha is one of the most accomplished and talented grapplers on the planet, so when he speaks I tend to listen. Below is a small posting he wrote regarding the ego and tapping. And while he is making a point in regard to age, I see this problem is prevalent regardless of age, nor sex, and it has been sneaking into dojo's and tournaments around town lately with really nasty ending results.
A tap is an affirmation that you respect the individuals positional dominance and you are requesting that the submission stop. That is all a tap is. It does not mean your penis is too tiny (coincidentally it might be, but it is not causative). It does not mean your technique sucks. It simply means your training PARTNER was successful at his/her technique and roll. Learn from tapping, but most importantly SURVIVE by tapping out! When you are injured you cannot train. Simple concept, right? Now we are in a combat sport so accidents happen and no one is immune to such things. But we all contain the ability and control of tapping out provided we are surrounded by solid training partners. Even going slow if you try to power out, or muscle out of a submission... all you do is injure yourself and make the person you rolled with feel like shit. Think a little guys. Think about your training, your health, and your partners.
Enjoy Cobrinha's words!
"This is some advice for everyone but with specific attention towards age. Jiu jitsu is a sport for all ages so if you are a child or in your 60's it is possible for you to train and learn equally.
The problem I have been seeing as an athlete and a teacher, is that ego exists when two different ages train together. They have an ego because they don't want to lose. They are too competitive. This ego happens when a younger guy wants to train hard with an older guy and the older guy wants to keep up or vice versa. It does not mean that old and young guys can not train hard together. They can, but they should use technique and leave the ego on the side. Sometimes when you are young you want to show power and when you are older you don't want to lose because you think that since you are older you should be able to handle it. Then, when they forget about the technique and they go hard against each other, they get injured because they are using strength. When they use strength, most of the time either the younger or older guy gets caught in a submission and they don't want to tap because it gets personal. This situation also happens when white belts start to train. Especially when they are stronger, they think they can handle it and go hard with those that are more experienced. Eventually they will get hurt.
Both young and not young must step onto the mat with the same mentality: no ego. If there is ego, you are stopping yourself from learning and you can get injured. We have to learn that when we train against someone we will be open minded and not afraid to tap. For me, the more you tap on the mat the more you learn and prevent injuries. Jiu jitsu is a simple art. By tapping you can avoid getting injured. There are ways to escape and you should try it but if you are in danger you should tap.
"Everybody has ego and pride but you must work on leaving it to the side when you train and when you want to learn something in life."
Please pay attention to this since I'm sure there are many different age groups at your academy. Let me know how it goes!"